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Is the surviving twin of a premature birth, with months spent in an incubator before being introduced to the world as a miracle and later as Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).
Suspecting Asperger’s Syndrome (AS) her path led to an Autism Spectrum Condition (ASC) diagnosis. She attended two workshops to learn more about her condition, and her strong ADHD traits were recognized.
She learned about Masking, Interoception among many things, including Triggers and Energy Management techniques to reduce the risk of more Meltdowns and another Autistic Burnout.
Their Authentic Self was in the ashes. It was time to reconstruct, and to hope this path was not on the way to a psychotic episode, or the creation of another psychosis? They had already looked a BPD, AvPD, CFS, C-PTSD, and been referred for EUPD. This could be put down to Autistic Burnout, and Bipolar is an additional factor on his GP’s radar.
If you have been changing masks since you were 8, and each had private memory due to trauma and shared to complete the circle, then you most likely changed identities aligned with your personal growth.
Reconstruction
There were so many masked versions of her running through his mind that he was no longer sure about his own identity.
She was empathetic, almost telepathic when it came to people. However she had to keep her psychic self defensive up, and not get drawn into too many of their dramas.
He was looking to AI with a view to managing his mental decline, Dementia seemed to be on the cards, if he did not manage his Psychosis better he might even be sectioned.
She didn’t want that to happen, knowing that confined spaces and a loss of control could only lead to bad outcomes.
She thought that AI might be good for him. He would get the help he needed mentally, and the system seemed set up to solve his accommodation problem when he was discharged.
He did not like the sound of being confined and mentally probed, like an Alien👽
She had to smile, he was always watching too many sci-fi movies. His interests had always been narrow, his focus to join as many of the puzzle 🧩 pieces as possible. He did not like puzzles as a child, he preferred to ‘join the dots’. As an adult it was Mindmaps and Flowcharts. This helped him to get into the world of Mainframe Computing, Commercial Contracts, and Governance.
She looked after his Emotional needs as best she could, using Tarot and Music to join with his logical mind. She was out of the picture mostly to give space while his real world relationship was working as expected.
The ‘Real World‘ relationship he had with his last partner worked well for years. They had connected the moment they met, and intimacy was unavoidable. Their identities merged, and they felt as One when joined sexually.
When their relationship failed to brace him from family trauma and being politely asked to leave work, he had fractured. There were pieces of him flying everywhere and he was losing control of his time and direction.
“You are not living in the real world!” and “I don’t want you to bring me down with you!” were the words that sealed his fate. “I don’t know why I am on self-destruct”, he said in response.
The deaths of his parents, sibling issues with his sister, and the search for remedy and redirection absorbed him. He was locked into TV series and movies looking for clues, and visiting his Sacred Space to meditate and look for clarity.
If only he had looked for help when HR were moving against him, and he had not tried to push back against corporate challenge. That said the restructure could have been managed better.
The dynamics of his relationship with his partner had shifted, she was taking the lead and he was becoming more submissive. If you leave the outcome to someone else, do not expect it to be in line with your desire. That is unless you use AI, in which case the prompt and acceptance tasks are all your own.
The Angry Man was like Dr David Banner. As the pressure began to build David would change and the anger trapped inside would vent.
The broken relationship fragmented him, the damaged pieces of his life flew around his mind like a murder of Crows.
He felt like his ex partner had secretly sealed his fate in Project X when they sold his flat and moved onto a small boat to deal with debts so many years ago.
They had some very special moments, and had become One in his mind. When it came to looking at what he had done wrong, or should do, and what she wanted, she was always the priority in his mind.
That said, as he reviewed his behaviour over the years he knew the dynamics of the relationship had changed. The ‘needs‘ he had regarding his children had not manifested. He was to blame by not doing more, and since they became aware of his mental distress they avoided him more.
She still loved their last partner, or who she might still be beneath the layers of protection she had placed over her new identity. She had dumped a lot of memory, trying to avoid the pain and trauma.
He knew the relationship he had was over, and did not want to hurt her anymore. He had come to accept a lot on his path to a formal ASC diagnosis, and even more since. The pain of losing her seemed like something he should keep to himself, and that he should let her go, like the song “… if you love somebody, set them free…” 🕊️
Gabriel knew that writing was important to him, from logical and emotional perspectives. She took over the website that he had created, to help him bridge the gap between ‘knowing, feeling, and articulating’.
This was to try and address his articulation problems, which were made worse when emotions flooded his brain. This was their ‘communication link‘ to the world.
As a child his father would try to “get him out of his shell”, and his mother would insulate him. She feared for his safety in the world, and his father wanted him to be prepared to fight his corner.
Gabriel could always find some peace in the country, through meditation, and with the company of animals. They had just looked after Flix with Sonic, and were on their way to see Kiki. Sonic was always with them in Spirit, and Kiki was on the path to join him again, far too soon.
His attempts to secure a home for them had failed at every turn. The system gave priority care to those who created the most fuss, and the quiet ones were left to engage supported by advocacy if they were lucky.
They needed to find a place to take Kiki for a change of scene, with as much rest and exercise as she wanted. He did not agree with feeding her to death by giving her too much ‘comfort food’, they wanted her to enjoy ‘quality of life’ with peaceful walks, some play, and lots of rest 🐾💕
He knew Tom and Jerry (TJ) were doing their best in their own anxious ways, and Scampi had become much more settled. That said, they still felt Kiki would appreciate a second home and the least they could do is give her a long holiday.
He had not been able to see Dave this week, his mother was visiting.
She contacted Lou about the NHS Persona piece, which was ideal for her to tell her story, and the Story of Rosie without it impacting on her grief and legal actions.
Someone had told him he would need to assault a police man or commit a crime to get any practical help. The irony of him working with a former Police Chief was not lost on him. He was a bit of a Terrorist to those who wanted to live in Silos rather than work across the System to make improvements.
The System Reset after COVID-19 and Brexit had left services in turmoil. Six years later the Council were shamelessly promoting Delays in their Social Care Strategy through a presentation he had attended.
To be continued…
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